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Some Kooky Old Lady

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Starswirl the Bearded is a legendary figure in Equestrian lore. Historians generally regard him to be the greatest unicorn mage to have ever walked Equestria, the most influential conjurer of the pre-classical era, the inventor of more than two hundred spells....the Father of Modern Magic.

But as we all know, history isn't always accurate.

Estella Whinnyfred Elena Agatha Whorl, or Starswirl as she was more commonly known, was a much different figure in life than the stern, stoic depictions seen in countless textbooks. For one, she was a mare (and a hellava one, according to her suitors). She was also in possession of the most bitchin' beard ever seen in Equestrian history, and rest assured than it was 100% naturally grown, no magic necessary, she often boasted. Due to this, Starswirl was often mistaken for a stallion, but the wise, noble mage didn't give the slightest of fucks. Starswirl was simply too busy to care, spending much of her time corralling two young alicorn princesses, going on arduous quests to find the most delicious tapioca pudding cup in Equestria, wolf-whistling at construction workers, frolicking naked in street fountains, tending to her many, many magical cats, bankrupting aristocrats in high stakes poker games, and chugging spiked root beer with her beloved apprentice, Clover the Clever.

Starswirl the Bearded was survived by her seven sons (all by different fathers, Starswirl liked to party). Her unicorn legacy is preserved through thriving House Twilight and House Lulamoon. She has one surviving great great great great great great great greeeeeeat grandson, Moondancer Lula, who would be quite surprised if he knew what a kooky old lady his supposed "grandfather" was.

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just having fun with headcanons
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2886x2388px 2 MB
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Aisheyru-Fox's avatar

I love this so freakin much ;w;